Madballs, Weird Balls, Super Bouncing Weird Balls, Monster Balls, Blurp Balls, Krazy Balls, Freakballs, Squirt Devils and other nameless imitations.

Monday, July 16, 2012

Waterlogged Weirdos!

"Squirts In Multiple Directions"

So this week's dudes aren't great but they're pretty fun. I feel like after that Zombie Zoo post a few weeks back, you deserve cool stuff for the next few weeks to make up for it. These idiots are all water squirting hollow rubber balls. We've got two sets, Monster Spitballs and plain old ordinary Spitballs. One large, one small but only one deadly.

Monster Spitballs are up first and they definitely win the best packaging award. Entertech here, went for a classic monster motif, with a Frankenstein and a Dracula ball. Apparently Entertech were making all sorts of water based toys in the 80s like motorized water pistols and stuff! Thankfully, they moved into the monster ball market with these.

Look how cool that cover is! Dracula and Frankenstein frolicking together! OH MY GOD THEY'RE HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME! They're smiling! I like to think that they were on some sort of monster retreat at an ancient Transylvanian castle to build creature character, complete with trust exercises. "Entertech: Making Better Monsters".

OH GOD THE BACK IS JUST AS GOOD! Look at that graphic. Like you couldn't figure out how these worked on your own, but it's really cute. Anyway, onto the balls!

The Frankenstein is pretty cool but a little more cartoony than the Drac. It reminds me a little of that weird 60's cartoon stylized Frank Monster Ball from before. I like the purple bags under his eyes and his weird wrinkley mouth! The best part however, it the fact that the water squirts from the giant half stitched wound in his head!

The Dracula is pretty cool too but in a different way. It actually kinda looks like Bela Lugosi! It's really well sculpted and designed, especially for something this small. It makes me even more mad about the Zombie Zoo idiots. They were so much larger and so much worse. Guh!
Moving from the 80s to the 90s we come to these regular style Spitballs. Well Spitball. I only have one. And it's a pretty cool one. It's named 20/20 and it's a giant Oculus Orbus influenced eyeball thing. The back of the package is full of drawings and slogans and other fun stuff including MORE instructions. Why is it so hard for people to figure out how to use these things?!

There were only four of these, a shark, a bomb and a crying baby were the others. A shark is pretty cool but the other two? WTF? Lame, guys. That's the same kind of lame I would expect from Super Bouncing Weird Balls or Foul Ba-.....OH.....MY.....GOD....Landard. I KNOW THOSE IDIOTS! THEY ACTUALLY MADE FOUL BALLS! OOF! Those were so horrible! But...dare I say, these are pretty good? So, what's the deal?

Oh, that's the deal! They finally make a monster ball that's half decent and it's poisonous! FULL OF LEAD! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Maybe it's some monster ball assassin trying to snuff me out for talking smack on their other toy lines? But that would mean that it was made in the 90's in in preparation for my late aughts betrayal! Like The Terminator!

Well, now that I know my arch-Madball-enemy has tried to assassinate me let's get this over with and look at this stupid ball. I mean the disembodied eye is a classic monsterball design. And this one is filled with details. All those lines in iris, and the three dimensional veins! I will say that it's weird that the actual eye ball has a brow? That doesn't make sense!

But it is cool! Look how gross those giant veins are in the back! Ew! It's almost as bad as that goddamn Lanard logo. Idiots.

And because you've all been so good, you get a family portrait! Well actually, its so you can see scale.

In conclusion, I'd suggest these guys to anyone. They're fun and well designed. Ok maybe I wouldn't suggest the Spitball because it's full of lead but the other ones, totally get 'em!

1 comment:

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