Madballs, Weird Balls, Super Bouncing Weird Balls, Monster Balls, Blurp Balls, Krazy Balls, Freakballs, Squirt Devils and other nameless imitations.

Monday, July 9, 2012

Give Pop-Pop Your Hair

"The Hairy Balls You Hurl"

So, someone was in a board meeting at Cadaco and pitched that catch phrase. You know, the one about the hairy balls.. Probably guys in suits or at the very least, business casual, and coffee and a giant 90's computer. They tossed various ideas around, but the one that they liked so much they put it on the front AND back of the package was "The Hairy Balls You Hurl".

Despite that ridiculous faux pas, I have to admit that these are pretty cool. They're made of soft hollow rubber, filled with details and the designs themselves are pretty cool. There must have been a monster ball revival in the 90's that I wasn't aware of or paying attention to. Freak Balls, Spitballs and these guys all popped up around then.

I had heard of these dudes but never actually seen one for sale anywhere. The package pictures below I saw (and stole from) Skullbrain.org. But that's it. Never saw one at a toy show or even so much as a few strands of that gross hair at the bottom of a Berlin Farmer's Mart $1 toy bin. Then one popped up on ebay, followed by a pair that were on etsy (all three were ridiculously cheap, partially making up for how much I spent on those stupid, stupid Zombie Zoos). We'll get to the toys in a sec. For now, let's look at these internet captured package pics.

Right off the bat, these guys are doing better than most. They have names, and little bios, as well as full color pics of each one on the back. Well done Cadaco!

The person I stole these pics from, was kind enough to take a close up of the copyright info. I did a little internet hunting and found out that Cadaco is still alive and kicking. In fact they made this awesome thing!

So, let's move onto the actual hairy balls. This first one is one of my favorites of that 90's era. Doc Hairline Fracture is a combo mad scientist/monster creation complete with stitches, bulging blooshot eyes, wrinkley green skin and LOTS of teeth (kinda like Dr. Teeth). The detail in the sculpt is amazing. So many little folds and warts. Even the paint job is good! The veins in the eyes are super cool. But the most important thing, that separates these from the myriads of knock offs in the 80's and 90's are those disgusting strands. I appreciate the fact that Cadaco tried to do something that would set them apart, but why, oh why did they put hair on these? It's so gross, which I guess makes sense when you're making gross out toys. Ew.

Next up we have one of the rarest of all monster balls...a definite lady monster ball. Other than Snake Bait, I don't know of another monster ball that is purposely designed as a lady. It's a shame because I'm sure there were a bunch of gross creepy girls that enjoyed these toys back then. Mouldy Locks here is a gross, gross toy for all the ladies. Some sort of zombie with warts, wrinkles and splatters of slime and those disgusting curly green locks. I don't really mind the hair that much but it's odd because these Hurlers would've worked even without that added touch.

Lastly we have this weirdo (Buzz Head). He's not my favorite but I've never been a fan of the "regular guy" Madballs (ie-Screamin Meemie). He just looks like a gross dude with buck teeth and red hair. Again though, there's tons of details that make him better than most of the bull crap imitations.

Up above you can see what these morons look like compared to actual Madballs. They're roughly the same size, but made of Sadball material and of course, with hair.

In conclusion, if you can track these dumb-dumbs down, you shouldn't buy them because I call dibs. Unless they're the ones I already have, then go for it!

They don't pop up too often though, so be vigilant and good hunting!

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