Madballs, Weird Balls, Super Bouncing Weird Balls, Monster Balls, Blurp Balls, Krazy Balls, Freakballs, Squirt Devils and other nameless imitations.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

A Mystery Solved...

Just a real quick update. While perusing the internet for various Madballs and sorry imitations, I stumbled upon this at Dinosaur Dracula...(that site has, possibly, the coolest blog header of all time)....

These are the dummies I covered a few years ago in this post! I never thought anyone would've bothered naming or packaging these things because they're 100% stolen designs!!

And apparently there are eight of them?! I posted about six and have since gotten my hands on another....damnit!

Monday, September 10, 2012

Wacked Out Weirdos

"Scuzzy! Scummy! A Total Gross Out!"

First off, I uploaded these pics and scheduled this to post like 2 months ago with the intent of going back and writing the post later. I forgot to do that and this posted with just images. Oops. Sorry for the weirdness.

So these guys have been a bane of my monster ball collecting existence for quite some time. I first noticed them when I was trying to win one of those elusive monster wiffle ball bats. They were packaged under the name Gruesome Creatures then, and they contained aforementioned bat and a bonus ball. The card had drawings of all the balls you could collect and they were exactly the same as these. The trouble is, these are packaged as Wacki Balls. You can tell they're awesome because the spelling's weird.

I gotta say, these dudes are pretty cool. They have names, stories, a cool stitched up logo and the designs are inspired by but not stolen from Madballs. They also have cool stuff in French on them. Maybe to sell to Canadians? So wait, the packaging itself is kinda weird because it's simple but still has a TON of stuff on it. Like its just a green background witha black flare around the ball. There's drawings of the other monsters but it still seems kinda spare? Even though there's a deluge of slogans, ("Scuzzy! Scummy! A Total Gross Out", "Collect Them All", "Spook All Your Friend With This Ghoulish Gang", and finally the slightly pedo-ish "Touch 'em if you dare...and...if you dare you'll want to touch 'em all!!!" it seems like everything was spaced just right to give it a no frills look. What am I saying? After the Zombie Zoo fiasco of aught twelve, this is like the Mona Lisa of monster ball packaging.

Like I said before, each monster has his own name and blurb, but the entire line of toys has a back story!

"From beyond the universe, from the dying planet Grotesque, prepare for the invasion of Wacki Balls. Frightening fun with Freaky Footballs and Batty Baseballs, they're the scummiest, scuzziest, wackiest faces ever found on a ball."

Take that Madballs.

Here's a quick look at the drawings of the idiots. Cool names guys. I've seen Mind Stein around on ebay before but Stevie Slimeball and Wrinkle Wart are super elusive. In fact, this is the first time I've had a hint of their existence.

However, I did find out Lucky Star is still making toys! If it's the same Lucky Star from '86, they're still makin' stuff but mostly plush toys and not gross out rip offs. Ok, let's get into our first monstrous meanie.

This dummy's name is Lizard Breath. The "lizard" part is a bit phoned in. I guess he's got fangs and scaly skin ,but other than that he just looks like an ugly dude. Don't get me wrong, he looks like an awesome ugly dude but still not a lizard. He's got the "classic" monster ball one bulging eye but combined with a completely missing eye! And he's also got a worm/snake slithering out from behind his oversized orb! So cool. I will say that out of the three of these that I have, I think that Lizard Breath is the most poorly sculpted. He's painted very well which covers most of his molded flaws but the rest have a lot more subtlety and nuance to them.

Black Jack the Overtaker, is pretty awesome. I still can't get over the football shaped monster ball. As a kid I never even knew this was an option, so it still thrills me when I can secure an oblong oddity. This dude is painted a bit worse than Lizard Breath (look at that stupid tongue)
but the details in the hair and wrinkly face makes up for it. Now, I wouldn't complain about this next thing except that the drawing on the package gave it away, but he's supposed to have missing teeth that are floating around on his tongue (I'm guessing he got hit with a black jack and his teeth got busted). I wouldn't have known or cared but it's right there in the drawing on the package he came in! Still he's pretty cool, I love the detail of the football stitching on the back of his head!

Last, and awesomest is Mud Brain. I love this dude. His paint job and mold is way better than the rest. Maybe they were trying to win an award or something? He's got six colors and the individual teeth and veins in his eyes are sculpted! He kinda reminds me of a mix between Slobulus and Spit Ball Louie. In fact, this entire line seems more like a rip off of Weird Balls than Madballs....and I'm ok with that.

Here's a size comparison! Oh I should also mention these dudes are made out of the same foam as Madballs, not the hollow rubber of Sadballs.

In conclusion, snatch these up if you can! They usually go for a lot on ebay, but they're worth it. I got mine from a cool Italian online toy shop that I won't share with you because he's still got stuff I want (once I save up enough monster ball money).

Monday, July 16, 2012

Waterlogged Weirdos!

"Squirts In Multiple Directions"

So this week's dudes aren't great but they're pretty fun. I feel like after that Zombie Zoo post a few weeks back, you deserve cool stuff for the next few weeks to make up for it. These idiots are all water squirting hollow rubber balls. We've got two sets, Monster Spitballs and plain old ordinary Spitballs. One large, one small but only one deadly.

Monster Spitballs are up first and they definitely win the best packaging award. Entertech here, went for a classic monster motif, with a Frankenstein and a Dracula ball. Apparently Entertech were making all sorts of water based toys in the 80s like motorized water pistols and stuff! Thankfully, they moved into the monster ball market with these.

Look how cool that cover is! Dracula and Frankenstein frolicking together! OH MY GOD THEY'RE HAVING SUCH A GOOD TIME! They're smiling! I like to think that they were on some sort of monster retreat at an ancient Transylvanian castle to build creature character, complete with trust exercises. "Entertech: Making Better Monsters".

OH GOD THE BACK IS JUST AS GOOD! Look at that graphic. Like you couldn't figure out how these worked on your own, but it's really cute. Anyway, onto the balls!

The Frankenstein is pretty cool but a little more cartoony than the Drac. It reminds me a little of that weird 60's cartoon stylized Frank Monster Ball from before. I like the purple bags under his eyes and his weird wrinkley mouth! The best part however, it the fact that the water squirts from the giant half stitched wound in his head!

The Dracula is pretty cool too but in a different way. It actually kinda looks like Bela Lugosi! It's really well sculpted and designed, especially for something this small. It makes me even more mad about the Zombie Zoo idiots. They were so much larger and so much worse. Guh!
Moving from the 80s to the 90s we come to these regular style Spitballs. Well Spitball. I only have one. And it's a pretty cool one. It's named 20/20 and it's a giant Oculus Orbus influenced eyeball thing. The back of the package is full of drawings and slogans and other fun stuff including MORE instructions. Why is it so hard for people to figure out how to use these things?!

There were only four of these, a shark, a bomb and a crying baby were the others. A shark is pretty cool but the other two? WTF? Lame, guys. That's the same kind of lame I would expect from Super Bouncing Weird Balls or Foul Ba-.....OH.....MY.....GOD....Landard. I KNOW THOSE IDIOTS! THEY ACTUALLY MADE FOUL BALLS! OOF! Those were so horrible! But...dare I say, these are pretty good? So, what's the deal?

Oh, that's the deal! They finally make a monster ball that's half decent and it's poisonous! FULL OF LEAD! AHHHHHHHHH!!!!! Maybe it's some monster ball assassin trying to snuff me out for talking smack on their other toy lines? But that would mean that it was made in the 90's in in preparation for my late aughts betrayal! Like The Terminator!

Well, now that I know my arch-Madball-enemy has tried to assassinate me let's get this over with and look at this stupid ball. I mean the disembodied eye is a classic monsterball design. And this one is filled with details. All those lines in iris, and the three dimensional veins! I will say that it's weird that the actual eye ball has a brow? That doesn't make sense!

But it is cool! Look how gross those giant veins are in the back! Ew! It's almost as bad as that goddamn Lanard logo. Idiots.

And because you've all been so good, you get a family portrait! Well actually, its so you can see scale.

In conclusion, I'd suggest these guys to anyone. They're fun and well designed. Ok maybe I wouldn't suggest the Spitball because it's full of lead but the other ones, totally get 'em!

Monday, July 9, 2012

Give Pop-Pop Your Hair

"The Hairy Balls You Hurl"

So, someone was in a board meeting at Cadaco and pitched that catch phrase. You know, the one about the hairy balls.. Probably guys in suits or at the very least, business casual, and coffee and a giant 90's computer. They tossed various ideas around, but the one that they liked so much they put it on the front AND back of the package was "The Hairy Balls You Hurl".

Despite that ridiculous faux pas, I have to admit that these are pretty cool. They're made of soft hollow rubber, filled with details and the designs themselves are pretty cool. There must have been a monster ball revival in the 90's that I wasn't aware of or paying attention to. Freak Balls, Spitballs and these guys all popped up around then.

I had heard of these dudes but never actually seen one for sale anywhere. The package pictures below I saw (and stole from) But that's it. Never saw one at a toy show or even so much as a few strands of that gross hair at the bottom of a Berlin Farmer's Mart $1 toy bin. Then one popped up on ebay, followed by a pair that were on etsy (all three were ridiculously cheap, partially making up for how much I spent on those stupid, stupid Zombie Zoos). We'll get to the toys in a sec. For now, let's look at these internet captured package pics.

Right off the bat, these guys are doing better than most. They have names, and little bios, as well as full color pics of each one on the back. Well done Cadaco!

The person I stole these pics from, was kind enough to take a close up of the copyright info. I did a little internet hunting and found out that Cadaco is still alive and kicking. In fact they made this awesome thing!

So, let's move onto the actual hairy balls. This first one is one of my favorites of that 90's era. Doc Hairline Fracture is a combo mad scientist/monster creation complete with stitches, bulging blooshot eyes, wrinkley green skin and LOTS of teeth (kinda like Dr. Teeth). The detail in the sculpt is amazing. So many little folds and warts. Even the paint job is good! The veins in the eyes are super cool. But the most important thing, that separates these from the myriads of knock offs in the 80's and 90's are those disgusting strands. I appreciate the fact that Cadaco tried to do something that would set them apart, but why, oh why did they put hair on these? It's so gross, which I guess makes sense when you're making gross out toys. Ew.

Next up we have one of the rarest of all monster balls...a definite lady monster ball. Other than Snake Bait, I don't know of another monster ball that is purposely designed as a lady. It's a shame because I'm sure there were a bunch of gross creepy girls that enjoyed these toys back then. Mouldy Locks here is a gross, gross toy for all the ladies. Some sort of zombie with warts, wrinkles and splatters of slime and those disgusting curly green locks. I don't really mind the hair that much but it's odd because these Hurlers would've worked even without that added touch.

Lastly we have this weirdo (Buzz Head). He's not my favorite but I've never been a fan of the "regular guy" Madballs (ie-Screamin Meemie). He just looks like a gross dude with buck teeth and red hair. Again though, there's tons of details that make him better than most of the bull crap imitations.

Up above you can see what these morons look like compared to actual Madballs. They're roughly the same size, but made of Sadball material and of course, with hair.

In conclusion, if you can track these dumb-dumbs down, you shouldn't buy them because I call dibs. Unless they're the ones I already have, then go for it!

They don't pop up too often though, so be vigilant and good hunting!

Monday, July 2, 2012

The New Spew Review

"Mangy Mutants!"

Oh god. Seriously? I can't believe I decided to restart this blog with these awful idiots. Like, I know I've posted some garbage in the past (like Foul Balls, Super Bouncing Weird Balls) but Zombie Zoo is by far the worst. Ok, maybe not "by far" but they're pretty bad.
I have to say, I was excited when I saw these pop up on ebay, because Zombie Zoo was a kind of rip off I'd always heard about, but never actually seen. I heard people refer to them and even read a few descriptions, but never had I actually glimpsed one. Like the cryptids of the monster ball kingdom. And much like someone that searches for a bigfoot or a chupacabra, I would've been better off having not seen them. The packaging is misleading, with full color drawings, a super awesome logo (blood and lightning!), multiple slogans and even a backstory present these idiots to be way better than they are. Look at those drawings! They're only a little bit worse than some James Groman work. That's saying something! But the execution. Oof! We'll get to that in a minute. Before that I'll type out their origin for you:

"One night when the moon was full, a weird color slime was found in a local city zoo. Cages were found open, bars were bent; and the result is the ugliest, mangiest bunch of zombies ever to escape captivity. Beware of the...Zombie Zoo Collection."

While I do appreciate that they took the time to write a "story", it is pretty lazy. What was the slime? Where did it come from? Why does the monkey have a vice on his head if he's a mutant?
PS guys "These play balls are not recommended for ages 3 and under"...there's got to be a better way to say that. Oh and those slogans..."Throw 'Em", "Mangy Mutants", and "Creepy Bouncy". So lazy. That drawing of that kid is pretty cool though. Look at him "throwing".
On the back of the package you can see all the cool drawings and names with even short descriptions of each guy. This is so much more effort than the dummies that made Super Bouncing Weird Balls put into their product. It's too bad the sculptors they hired were a bunch or moronic idiots with toes for fingers.Seriously. Look at Bone Breath here. Well, first look up at the picture that shows the drawings of them, then look down at this guy. Something was lost in translation. Details were deleted, nuances were tossed in the trash and paint jobs were haphazard. And this is the best one. Monkey Mash here is maybe the second best, at least as far as one looking like the animal it is supposed to represent. He's way worse that the drawing though. I think he's supposed to have a vice on his head? But again, just a huge pile of lumps and sloppy paint. Ok, ok, ok. This one is horrible. Atrocious. Like, what is this?! I'm guessing from the name Wart Rus, he's supposed to be a Walrus but maybe a walrus sculpted by a blind person that has never even heard a walrus described to them. I think his eyes are supposed to be stitched shut and his nose is bleeding..ketchup?, but then what are the two indented holes in between his nostrils and eyes?!'s killing me. As a Madball aficionado, I am offended sirs! Even the material they used is abysmal. They're foam like Madballs, but really soft foam. It looks like there were bubbles in it that popped and left huge gaping holes in it. Guh!Nope! I was wrong. This is the worst one. Bloody Bull?! NOOoooooooOOOOOoooooooo! THIS IS NOT A BULL! A- Why would it be blue. B-It's not a shaped like a bull. C-It's not shaped like any animal. D-It kinda looks like Trumpy. E-Fuck you.These write ups are actually starting to hurt now. Not emotionally but physically. It's paining me to write them. My stomach hurts and I have a headache. Because this is supposed to be an elephant. Missing an eye. Eye Lephant. It makes me even madder that the names are cool but the toys themselves are the worst. Like the worst. I may have just pooped myself from awful.
Vein Brain. Dumb. I can't even write this one up. I mean I guess I can? But I don't really want to. A dog with a leash around it's neck and in its mouth and veins in his ears and his head cut off? And it kinda looks racist?! WTF?! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! BAD!
I guess if you want to you can see the size comparison. Zombie Zoos are larger, and the foam is softer and they are also the worst. THE WORST. NO, NO, NO!

As far as the dillholes responsible, I've looked up Panville Inc from Chicago and I've found nothing. Not a thing. Which is good, because that means they stopped after they unleashed this hell in ball form.

In conclusion, only an idiot anal retentive collector would ever spend more than $1 on any of these stupid dummies and, trust me, I spent way more than that...boooooooo......

The next post will be something way cooler, I promise.

Thursday, February 23, 2012

More To Come

Just a sample of some of the new stuff I've acquired and will post about soon. Sorry for the wait.

Monday, January 23, 2012

More Mini Mock-Madball Madness!!

"No Comment"

Well, dudes and dudettes, I've been managing to upkeep this blog more than I actually thought possible. Today, we have some tiny terrors that I know some of you nerds out there are obsessed with. See, these guys seem to be in higher demand because they overlap crazed collector criteria. They appeal to the maniacal Madball enthusiasts as well as the little rubber toy aficionados. I've heard horror stories about people trying to track these down, but I've managed to amass quite a collection without even going out of my way to do so. Ebay lots that I've won, often come with a few of these crammed in the box as an added bonus...or an added bogus!

Most of these little grotesqueries are minute renditions of larger dudes and seem to be some sort of pencil top eraser or eraser material. These two for example are tiny takes on the classic devil Sadball, and the horrible Horn Head. The problem with these two, is that the material doesn't work well this small. There are crease lines and the details aren't too crisp.

See how small this dude is? Regardless of the loss of clarity, both of these are pretty neat. They would be perfect if you were a really small miniature, and Madballs were too large for you to hold in your freakishly tiny hands. Then again, I guess you'd have other things to worry about besides your toy collection. Like cats, and tarantulas and being so small that you cease to exist on a molecular level. Now I'm sad.

Not anymore! Look at these idiots! Another Madball rip off (Argh) and two more Sadball rip offs (Blood Bulge and Broken Brain). Though, I think at the point you rip off a rip off you become something else a rip-rip off. The rubber these three are made of is a little bit sturdier than the previous dorks so they look a little better. They also appear to have been painted at some point?! That's pretty cool. I actually prefer mini Blood Bulge to the adult version, because that design was pretty sparse in the first place. Cramming all those features on a 1" ball makes it look cooler.

Oh god, these triplets. I got them in a lot and I like them but they are uuuuuggggly. Almost too ugly? like the first guy is kind of hard to make out...i guess he's a fang toothed dude with a pig nose? Hogrible will be his name. The second dude is the real problem. I know this isn't the greatest picture but even holding him in my hand in the light I couldn't make out what the hell is going on with his face. At first. My hypothesis (as a Madball academic) is that he's a dude with half a skull and a mouth full of worms? Maggot Mouth it is, until someone else looks at it and tells me what's up. The last one is the most simple but also the easiest to see. He's just a generic monster type. His name is Gener-ick! from now on. The triplets here suffer from the same eraser material syndrome as our first two freaks. But those two, the eraser rubber hardened over time, these three have a porous softness to them that makes me think they may crumble in time...ah crap I'm sad again.

Not I'm still sad. This guy doesn't cheer me up. He looks like a yellow tiger stripped turd (Tiger Turd). Like if Madballs were made the same way as Kopi Luwak but with tigers. He doesn't even have the excuse that he was made out of crappy (get it?) rubber. He's made of rigid hallow plastic. He could be well rendered if some lazy so and so had decided to spend a few extra cents. He had a key ring attached to him at some point but I don't think he suffered much damage from that. I think he was just poorly painted and designed. LAME!

In conclusion, These are fun if and when you can find them. They usually have a lot of rubs in them but are a neat addition to any Mad/Sadball collection. Check above for a family portrait that depicts their relative size.