Foul Balls....For Real.

"Collect them all...they're the grossest off-the-wall fouls from the sand lots of Southern California."

Now that we've had our first chat about actual Madballs (more obscure but licensed nonetheless) it's time to move on to the serious stuff. Get ready to delve into the world of knock off Madballs
(or Sadballs as they've been dubbed; most notably on Weirdo Toys).

Some knock offs can be pretty sweet (Rude Ralph, Weird Balls) and even give the mainstream guys a run for their money. We will not be dealing with those today. The one's I've chosen may be the WORST Madballs imitations I've ever come across. Now I know there are some awful ones out there. Krazy Balls are pretty bad, and we'll get to Super Bouncing Weird Balls in a few weeks, but most of those are just lazy. I've crowned Foul Balls the worst because there seems to be some effort involved to make a variant toy line. Or at least not directly lift Madballs designs. Lets get into it.
I've tried really hard to find something I like about these things besides their inherent crappiness, but it's been really hard. The logo is kinda cool cus it looks like intestines? Eh? Yeah I'm not buying it either. This particular Foul Ball is named Trunk Lid. I think he's some sort of elephant being devoured by a snake and being helped by a skeleton?
All I can think of when I look at him is...STUPID. That applies to the company that was trying to make a quick buck, the "designer" and the toy itself. Screw you Trunklid! There are barely any details on this hunk of crap and what's there was painted poorly. Not to mention IT'S SOME SORT OF ELEPHANT TRAPPED IN AN EYELESS SNAKE WITH AN UNPAINTED SKELETAL HAND HOLDING THE MOUTH OPEN?!

Well the only other one I own is Slimeclops. That's kind of a cool name...but he's still pretty busted. He may be related to the poorly sculpted snake that ate the elephant, but I'm pretty sure he's just a buck toothed eel with one eye. And a lot of veins. And an awful seam. I'm not sure if you can tell in this picture but his left front tooth curves in too. I don't know the dietary needs of a Slimeclops but he looks like a....swamp predator..(yeah that's it). How rubbery teeth help you catch the fast moving bog-bugs and woodlice you subsist on, is beyond me!
What I find most disturbing about this doofus is the genital resemblance. EVERYONE that I know that's seen this dude, immediately remarks that his "eye tube"(?) looks like a wang vein. It's really gross. The eye ball also invokes the hooded part of a lady's special place. Ugh, I wonder if their designers can be found on Community Watch Dog?
Since those are the only two I own, we'll get back to the packaging to look at the gems of 80's toy design that can be found therein.
These all look like they were sculpted out of Play Doh and not very well. Rubberlip especially. He just looks like a sad old man that accidentally swallowed his nose, not a wacky gross-out toy. Magna appears to be just a sad, sad attempt to rip-off Screamin' Meemie, but with blush. How and why do you apply makeup if the only facial feature you have is a giant gaping mouth? Ohhhhh.....Spiderwad....either he's curled up in canon ball position and his spider legs are tucked up covering his face, and that hole is his butt? OR he's got a segmented exoskeleton mustache.
The only two decent ones on this package are Worm-Eye and Zomball, and that is just by comparison to the other garbage on there. Zomball doesn't have a lower lip but does have a grey skeleton (which includes a nose). Worm-Eye just looks half assed. Like when they hired artists to make Madballs this would be the FIRST stage after a sketch when proposing your monster idea. And maybe you were in a rush to get to a matinee of The Garbage Pail Kids movie.

I was gonna wrap this up with a link to a summary of a lawsuit against Foul Balls manufacturer Lanard FOR copyright infringement, but while looking for that link I came upon something funnier. It's a lawsuit Lanard filed AGAINST someone else for copyright infringement! Maybe this is a different toy company named Lanard making knock-offs that's involed in all this suing. If it is, I apologize.

In conclusion...stupid.