Madballs, Weird Balls, Super Bouncing Weird Balls, Monster Balls, Blurp Balls, Krazy Balls, Freakballs, Squirt Devils and other nameless imitations.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Unwanted and unloved...

"No Comment"
So there's a little story that goes with this weeks grossos. Not even a story, a blurb really. When I found these guys on ebay, there were two lots of them from the same seller, each lot with 10 balls. They both looked the same so I randomly picked one and bid $4. Then I notice a note from the seller in the description that said (and I'm paraphrasing here, because the auction has been removed) "I don't know why anyone would want these but if you must have them feel free to bid". HA!
I thought that was the extent of the seller's hatred for these dudes until I won and received both lots in the mail! I guess no one bid on the second lot and he couldn't stand to have them around his house, glaring at him and mocking him with their awfulness.

I mean they are weird and ugly but not that bad. When they arrived they were mostly loose but a few were still in their mesh net packaging and there were a couple with the tags on.

Novelty Inc. , a company from Greenfield, Indiana is the responsible party but I'll cut them some slack because it looks like monster headed balls aren't their usual market. They make christian trinkets, energy drinks and smoking accessories. Huh? Anyway, they really did just churn these dudes out and move on. Only three sculpts, no packaging and no names. Like someone at the factory got coerced into making them. Obligation fulfilled, now leave me alone. First off, we have a dude I'll call Randy. He's kinda just a guy with some stitches and a flat-top. Like the rest this guy is soft squeezable rubber that was filled with slime. So when you applied pressure the slime would push out the holes in his eyes and mouth. After years of sitting on a shelf, not only has the rubber hardened but the slime is now just a tacky glistening ball.

Anyway, Other than his cauliflower ear, there's not much to this dude. His features are distorted enough that I don't find him boring but he's not a monster.
This next guy is a cool skull. He was in some sort of accident that knocked out a tooth, cracked his top, exposing his brain and gave him little cuts all over his skull.....which bled. Wait? What? Despite his slime holes, you can see he was once a blue eyed boy...but wait, what's that under his eye then? It can't be an eyeball cus, he's still got those. Well it looks like a Cadburry Egg with the top cut off. Either that or it's a piece of...oops. Let's call him Brown Eye. I may make fun of the logic of it, but the details and lopsidedness are actually pretty appealing. Frankensloth is our final subject and my favorite. He looks like some disgusting orc from Lord Of the Rings. The oversized tear drop eyes and the wagging blue tongue are really gnarly but what gets me the most are those teeth. Horribly blackened gums and tiny pegs of teeth barely breaking the skin. Ew.

In conclusion, these dudes are kinda simple but neat, especially when you consider how much detail is crammed onto such a small space (1.5" diameter). I don't think you'll be able to find them anywhere but if you really want one I can part with a few. After all I have 20!

1 comment:

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