Madballs, Weird Balls, Super Bouncing Weird Balls, Monster Balls, Blurp Balls, Krazy Balls, Freakballs, Squirt Devils and other nameless imitations.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

The Land Of the Retching Sun

"ホラーボール 悪魔の目玉"

Oh man! Japan loves Madballs. There are tons of Madball inspired vinyl collectibles but they're usually wayyyy outside my price range and have bodies and stuff. Not monster headed balls, strictly speaking. The triple feature I've got lined up for today, however, are straight up ugly faced balls without extraneous arms and legs.

The first two sets of dudes were purchased when Gom-Taro (an online toy store) was having a 70% off going out of business sale. Given the usual price of Japanese toys, I pounced on this opportunity.
We'll start with Takara's Horror Balls. Well, actually, as far as I can tell the second set are called Horror Balls too, but that's because I can't read a lick of Japanese. But these first dudes are pretty crazy pencil top "erasers", though I haven't attempted to use them as such.

The packaging is neat! It's got lots of splats and drips and even a cool looking bat. Unfortunately, it also has that little racist caricature (which is Takara's mascot). Siggghhhhhh.....These dudes are numbered and the highest I've seen is 18, but it seems like there's really only three sculpts in different color variations. The back of the package has a cool coupon that I wish I could cash in at Shop Rite. "Yeah, I'll take some kale, some soy milk and a disgusting Japanese Madball rip off." It shows you how to use them too, which is absurd. I don't think anyone would mistake these for anything other than toys that go on the ends of pencils. Like, you can't unclog a drain with them or ride one down the street. Anyway, let's check them out up close.
I don't know what any of their names are so we're gonna call this dude, Metric Menace. I should say that these three Horror Balls are academically themed, which is funny. "School can be gross kids! You don't just need to play with your vomit inducing grotesqueries at home anymore!" Metric Menace is a geometry themed vampire, made up of rulers and triangles and whatnot. I guess just plain old stitches and wonky eyes were too lowbrow for Takara.Up next is Pencil Pusher. He's the grossest of the bunch with a swollen eye, crooked teeth and blue barf! His academic theme is....pencil's. I like his little eraser nose, it's cute but not too cute. All of them also have some sort of clear plastic right eye and a tiny nub or button on the top of their heads. If I could read kanji or hiragana, I'd probably be able to explain what the hell both are for. Alas, I can't, so....maybe it's a lazer eye? When in doubt, go for lazer eye.
Our last dude is a sloppy two ways. First off, I can't make out what the hell is goin on with his face. I think he's supposed to be scarred where his left eye would have been, but its hard to say. I also had a hard time figuring out what his theme was. Turns out it's text books (Book Worm!). Kinda obvies but a little dumb. B, his paint is terrible. These things came out in the 80's and mine were still sealed when I got them and his silver paint was still tacky! Whatever, I still think these are awesome, android-esque school related Madball knock offs and well worth the money I paid for them. I've seen Book Worm on Ebay for $50 which I'd say is toooo much. So try to find a Japanese online toy store that's having a going out of business sale. Yeesh. Our second batch are more traditional pencil top eraser ugly balls that arrived in unmarked plastic bags. These are a tiny bit smaller than the first set but the same size as the Eraser Bouncing Bad Bad Balls. I'm really like these dudes. Their psychadellic coloring and snaggle teeth are really awesome. I think the first is some sort of old man vampire (Old Manpire) and the second is a Screemin Meemie-esque insane face. That third dude, though, he's my favorite. He's a drunk deformed gorilla (Gore-illa!)!
Next up are two of the same dudes in different colors. I can see some Aargh influence there with the drooping eye but he's got those beever teeth! Buck Tooth Terrance looks pretty gross in flesh colored but the translucent blue with red teeth and yellow eyes make him look downright Lovecraftian!

I would totally recommend these to buy but I have no idea where you'd get them now. Sorry.
Last but certainly not least is this horrible beauty of a keychain from Psycho Wheels (which I think is a Japanese motorcylce fetish accesory store). The sculptor signed the back as (and is noted as such on the Psycho Wheels website) Sketch but I can't seem to find any other info on him, though he has designed 3 or 4 other keychains for them. This one is a Rat Fink/Madballs mash up and what a doosey it is. Stitched shut and bulging eyes combined with Big Daddy Roth style jagged teeth and floppy tongue! These highly detailed monstrosities come in 6 different colors and one will only set you back about $30. Oh god, I'm obsessed. However, it is a really cool design and made of a hard durable plastic.

In conclusion, if you like Madballs and you like Japanese toys and you have some extra money to spend all these little dudes are awesome!


  1. okay, wait. are you making up all the names for these things? if so, we're friends forever !!!!!! i mean, we are if you didn't make them up, but maybe i'd use fewer exclamation points.

    one little plastic eye creeps me out and makes me think they're poorly concealed surveillance cameras???

  2. Yes I did make up the names for all of these cus I've got nothing better to do with myself!

    Yeah the plastic eye makes it look like you put a flash light behind them to light them up? or that they're pencil sharpeners or something but I have no idea!