Wacked Out Weirdos

"Scuzzy! Scummy! A Total Gross Out!"

First off, I uploaded these pics and scheduled this to post like 2 months ago with the intent of going back and writing the post later. I forgot to do that and this posted with just images. Oops. Sorry for the weirdness.

So these guys have been a bane of my monster ball collecting existence for quite some time. I first noticed them when I was trying to win one of those elusive monster wiffle ball bats. They were packaged under the name Gruesome Creatures then, and they contained aforementioned bat and a bonus ball. The card had drawings of all the balls you could collect and they were exactly the same as these. The trouble is, these are packaged as Wacki Balls. You can tell they're awesome because the spelling's weird.

I gotta say, these dudes are pretty cool. They have names, stories, a cool stitched up logo and the designs are inspired by but not stolen from Madballs. They also have cool stuff in French on them. Maybe to sell to Canadians? So wait, the packaging itself is kinda weird because it's simple but still has a TON of stuff on it. Like its just a green background witha black flare around the ball. There's drawings of the other monsters but it still seems kinda spare? Even though there's a deluge of slogans, ("Scuzzy! Scummy! A Total Gross Out", "Collect Them All", "Spook All Your Friend With This Ghoulish Gang", and finally the slightly pedo-ish "Touch 'em if you dare...and...if you dare you'll want to touch 'em all!!!" it seems like everything was spaced just right to give it a no frills look. What am I saying? After the Zombie Zoo fiasco of aught twelve, this is like the Mona Lisa of monster ball packaging.

Like I said before, each monster has his own name and blurb, but the entire line of toys has a back story!

"From beyond the universe, from the dying planet Grotesque, prepare for the invasion of Wacki Balls. Frightening fun with Freaky Footballs and Batty Baseballs, they're the scummiest, scuzziest, wackiest faces ever found on a ball."

Take that Madballs.

Here's a quick look at the drawings of the idiots. Cool names guys. I've seen Mind Stein around on ebay before but Stevie Slimeball and Wrinkle Wart are super elusive. In fact, this is the first time I've had a hint of their existence.


However, I did find out Lucky Star is still making toys! If it's the same Lucky Star from '86, they're still makin' stuff but mostly plush toys and not gross out rip offs. Ok, let's get into our first monstrous meanie.

This dummy's name is Lizard Breath. The "lizard" part is a bit phoned in. I guess he's got fangs and scaly skin ,but other than that he just looks like an ugly dude. Don't get me wrong, he looks like an awesome ugly dude but still not a lizard. He's got the "classic" monster ball one bulging eye but combined with a completely missing eye! And he's also got a worm/snake slithering out from behind his oversized orb! So cool. I will say that out of the three of these that I have, I think that Lizard Breath is the most poorly sculpted. He's painted very well which covers most of his molded flaws but the rest have a lot more subtlety and nuance to them.

Black Jack the Overtaker, is pretty awesome. I still can't get over the football shaped monster ball. As a kid I never even knew this was an option, so it still thrills me when I can secure an oblong oddity. This dude is painted a bit worse than Lizard Breath (look at that stupid tongue)
but the details in the hair and wrinkly face makes up for it. Now, I wouldn't complain about this next thing except that the drawing on the package gave it away, but he's supposed to have missing teeth that are floating around on his tongue (I'm guessing he got hit with a black jack and his teeth got busted). I wouldn't have known or cared but it's right there in the drawing on the package he came in! Still he's pretty cool, I love the detail of the football stitching on the back of his head!


Last, and awesomest is Mud Brain. I love this dude. His paint job and mold is way better than the rest. Maybe they were trying to win an award or something? He's got six colors and the individual teeth and veins in his eyes are sculpted! He kinda reminds me of a mix between Slobulus and Spit Ball Louie. In fact, this entire line seems more like a rip off of Weird Balls than Madballs....and I'm ok with that.


Here's a size comparison! Oh I should also mention these dudes are made out of the same foam as Madballs, not the hollow rubber of Sadballs.

In conclusion, snatch these up if you can! They usually go for a lot on ebay, but they're worth it. I got mine from a cool Italian online toy shop that I won't share with you because he's still got stuff I want (once I save up enough monster ball money).

Give Pop-Pop Your Hair

"The Hairy Balls You Hurl"

So, someone was in a board meeting at Cadaco and pitched that catch phrase. You know, the one about the hairy balls.. Probably guys in suits or at the very least, business casual, and coffee and a giant 90's computer. They tossed various ideas around, but the one that they liked so much they put it on the front AND back of the package was "The Hairy Balls You Hurl".

Despite that ridiculous faux pas, I have to admit that these are pretty cool. They're made of soft hollow rubber, filled with details and the designs themselves are pretty cool. There must have been a monster ball revival in the 90's that I wasn't aware of or paying attention to. Freak Balls, Spitballs and these guys all popped up around then.

I had heard of these dudes but never actually seen one for sale anywhere. The package pictures below I saw (and stole from) Skullbrain.org. But that's it. Never saw one at a toy show or even so much as a few strands of that gross hair at the bottom of a Berlin Farmer's Mart $1 toy bin. Then one popped up on ebay, followed by a pair that were on etsy (all three were ridiculously cheap, partially making up for how much I spent on those stupid, stupid Zombie Zoos). We'll get to the toys in a sec. For now, let's look at these internet captured package pics.

Right off the bat, these guys are doing better than most. They have names, and little bios, as well as full color pics of each one on the back. Well done Cadaco!

The person I stole these pics from, was kind enough to take a close up of the copyright info. I did a little internet hunting and found out that Cadaco is still alive and kicking. In fact they made this awesome thing!

So, let's move onto the actual hairy balls. This first one is one of my favorites of that 90's era. Doc Hairline Fracture is a combo mad scientist/monster creation complete with stitches, bulging blooshot eyes, wrinkley green skin and LOTS of teeth (kinda like Dr. Teeth). The detail in the sculpt is amazing. So many little folds and warts. Even the paint job is good! The veins in the eyes are super cool. But the most important thing, that separates these from the myriads of knock offs in the 80's and 90's are those disgusting strands. I appreciate the fact that Cadaco tried to do something that would set them apart, but why, oh why did they put hair on these? It's so gross, which I guess makes sense when you're making gross out toys. Ew.

Next up we have one of the rarest of all monster balls...a definite lady monster ball. Other than Snake Bait, I don't know of another monster ball that is purposely designed as a lady. It's a shame because I'm sure there were a bunch of gross creepy girls that enjoyed these toys back then. Mouldy Locks here is a gross, gross toy for all the ladies. Some sort of zombie with warts, wrinkles and splatters of slime and those disgusting curly green locks. I don't really mind the hair that much but it's odd because these Hurlers would've worked even without that added touch.

Lastly we have this weirdo (Buzz Head). He's not my favorite but I've never been a fan of the "regular guy" Madballs (ie-Screamin Meemie). He just looks like a gross dude with buck teeth and red hair. Again though, there's tons of details that make him better than most of the bull crap imitations.

Up above you can see what these morons look like compared to actual Madballs. They're roughly the same size, but made of Sadball material and of course, with hair.

In conclusion, if you can track these dumb-dumbs down, you shouldn't buy them because I call dibs. Unless they're the ones I already have, then go for it!

They don't pop up too often though, so be vigilant and good hunting!

The New Spew Review

"Mangy Mutants!"

Oh god. Seriously? I can't believe I decided to restart this blog with these awful idiots. Like, I know I've posted some garbage in the past (like Foul Balls, Super Bouncing Weird Balls) but Zombie Zoo is by far the worst. Ok, maybe not "by far" but they're pretty bad.
I have to say, I was excited when I saw these pop up on ebay, because Zombie Zoo was a kind of rip off I'd always heard about, but never actually seen. I heard people refer to them and even read a few descriptions, but never had I actually glimpsed one. Like the cryptids of the monster ball kingdom. And much like someone that searches for a bigfoot or a chupacabra, I would've been better off having not seen them. The packaging is misleading, with full color drawings, a super awesome logo (blood and lightning!), multiple slogans and even a backstory present these idiots to be way better than they are. Look at those drawings! They're only a little bit worse than some James Groman work. That's saying something! But the execution. Oof! We'll get to that in a minute. Before that I'll type out their origin for you:

"One night when the moon was full, a weird color slime was found in a local city zoo. Cages were found open, bars were bent; and the result is the ugliest, mangiest bunch of zombies ever to escape captivity. Beware of the...Zombie Zoo Collection."

While I do appreciate that they took the time to write a "story", it is pretty lazy. What was the slime? Where did it come from? Why does the monkey have a vice on his head if he's a mutant?
PS guys "These play balls are not recommended for ages 3 and under"...there's got to be a better way to say that. Oh and those slogans..."Throw 'Em", "Mangy Mutants", and "Creepy Bouncy". So lazy. That drawing of that kid is pretty cool though. Look at him "throwing".
On the back of the package you can see all the cool drawings and names with even short descriptions of each guy. This is so much more effort than the dummies that made Super Bouncing Weird Balls put into their product. It's too bad the sculptors they hired were a bunch or moronic idiots with toes for fingers.Seriously. Look at Bone Breath here. Well, first look up at the picture that shows the drawings of them, then look down at this guy. Something was lost in translation. Details were deleted, nuances were tossed in the trash and paint jobs were haphazard. And this is the best one. Monkey Mash here is maybe the second best, at least as far as one looking like the animal it is supposed to represent. He's way worse that the drawing though. I think he's supposed to have a vice on his head? But again, just a huge pile of lumps and sloppy paint. Ok, ok, ok. This one is horrible. Atrocious. Like, what is this?! I'm guessing from the name Wart Rus, he's supposed to be a Walrus but maybe a walrus sculpted by a blind person that has never even heard a walrus described to them. I think his eyes are supposed to be stitched shut and his nose is bleeding..ketchup?, but then what are the two indented holes in between his nostrils and eyes?! Ugghhhhhh.....it's killing me. As a Madball aficionado, I am offended sirs! Even the material they used is abysmal. They're foam like Madballs, but really soft foam. It looks like there were bubbles in it that popped and left huge gaping holes in it. Guh!Nope! I was wrong. This is the worst one. Bloody Bull?! NOOoooooooOOOOOoooooooo! THIS IS NOT A BULL! A- Why would it be blue. B-It's not a shaped like a bull. C-It's not shaped like any animal. D-It kinda looks like Trumpy. E-Fuck you.These write ups are actually starting to hurt now. Not emotionally but physically. It's paining me to write them. My stomach hurts and I have a headache. Because this is supposed to be an elephant. Missing an eye. Eye Lephant. It makes me even madder that the names are cool but the toys themselves are the worst. Like the worst. I may have just pooped myself from awful.
Vein Brain. Dumb. I can't even write this one up. I mean I guess I can? But I don't really want to. A dog with a leash around it's neck and in its mouth and veins in his ears and his head cut off? And it kinda looks racist?! WTF?! NO, NO, NO, NO, NO! BAD!
I guess if you want to you can see the size comparison. Zombie Zoos are larger, and the foam is softer and they are also the worst. THE WORST. NO, NO, NO!

As far as the dillholes responsible, I've looked up Panville Inc from Chicago and I've found nothing. Not a thing. Which is good, because that means they stopped after they unleashed this hell in ball form.

In conclusion, only an idiot anal retentive collector would ever spend more than $1 on any of these stupid dummies and, trust me, I spent way more than that...boooooooo......

The next post will be something way cooler, I promise.

More Mini Mock-Madball Madness!!

"No Comment"

Well, dudes and dudettes, I've been managing to upkeep this blog more than I actually thought possible. Today, we have some tiny terrors that I know some of you nerds out there are obsessed with. See, these guys seem to be in higher demand because they overlap crazed collector criteria. They appeal to the maniacal Madball enthusiasts as well as the little rubber toy aficionados. I've heard horror stories about people trying to track these down, but I've managed to amass quite a collection without even going out of my way to do so. Ebay lots that I've won, often come with a few of these crammed in the box as an added bonus...or an added bogus!

Most of these little grotesqueries are minute renditions of larger dudes and seem to be some sort of pencil top eraser or eraser material. These two for example are tiny takes on the classic devil Sadball, and the horrible Horn Head. The problem with these two, is that the material doesn't work well this small. There are crease lines and the details aren't too crisp.

See how small this dude is? Regardless of the loss of clarity, both of these are pretty neat. They would be perfect if you were a really small person...like miniature, and Madballs were too large for you to hold in your freakishly tiny hands. Then again, I guess you'd have other things to worry about besides your toy collection. Like cats, and tarantulas and being so small that you cease to exist on a molecular level. Now I'm sad.

Not anymore! Look at these idiots! Another Madball rip off (Argh) and two more Sadball rip offs (Blood Bulge and Broken Brain). Though, I think at the point you rip off a rip off you become something else entirely...like a rip-rip off. The rubber these three are made of is a little bit sturdier than the previous dorks so they look a little better. They also appear to have been painted at some point?! That's pretty cool. I actually prefer mini Blood Bulge to the adult version, because that design was pretty sparse in the first place. Cramming all those features on a 1" ball makes it look cooler.

Oh god, these triplets. I got them in a lot and I like them but they are uuuuuggggly. Almost too ugly? like the first guy is kind of hard to make out...i guess he's a fang toothed dude with a pig nose? Hogrible will be his name. The second dude is the real problem. I know this isn't the greatest picture but even holding him in my hand in the light I couldn't make out what the hell is going on with his face. At first. My hypothesis (as a Madball academic) is that he's a dude with half a skull and a mouth full of worms? Maggot Mouth it is, until someone else looks at it and tells me what's up. The last one is the most simple but also the easiest to see. He's just a generic monster type. His name is Gener-ick! from now on. The triplets here suffer from the same eraser material syndrome as our first two freaks. But those two, the eraser rubber hardened over time, these three have a porous softness to them that makes me think they may crumble in time...ah crap I'm sad again.


Not any...no I'm still sad. This guy doesn't cheer me up. He looks like a yellow tiger stripped turd (Tiger Turd). Like if Madballs were made the same way as Kopi Luwak but with tigers. He doesn't even have the excuse that he was made out of crappy (get it?) rubber. He's made of rigid hallow plastic. He could be well rendered if some lazy so and so had decided to spend a few extra cents. He had a key ring attached to him at some point but I don't think he suffered much damage from that. I think he was just poorly painted and designed. LAME!

In conclusion, These are fun if and when you can find them. They usually have a lot of rubs in them but are a neat addition to any Mad/Sadball collection. Check above for a family portrait that depicts their relative size.

A Journey Into the Unknown Part 4: Don't Call It a Come-BLECH!

Hello fiends and revenants! I know it's been a while since I dished up some ghoulish 80's monster ball madness but it wasn't due to laziness. In the 10 (!!) months since my last post I've been on trips to Ireland/England, Maine, Vermont/Massachusetts/Connecticut, and Portugal. On top of that I've been focusing on my H.P. Lovecraft monster blog( Yog-Blogsoth) as well as doing gallery shows and freelance work.

While there hasn't been much time for ball blogging, there has been plenty of time for ball buying! I've scored some gems in the past year and I'm going to start posting them again. The first batch are all inflatable rubber rip offs, about the size and shape of an authentic Madball, much like the 5 original Sadballs. Saint Sadball Of Orb. There's a lot of pics to make up for lost time, so enjoy!
Our first new entry is this dillhole. A creepy wannabe that I scored in a lot on ebay. I've seen this guy around but only just got one for myself. He's an excellently sculpted, super gross skull-thing with a huge bulging eyeball. The scar tissue around said eye and completely covering the other eye makes it look like his face is a huge zit that has just been popped. I think the blue and red color combo helps with that as well. He has a weird set of stitches on his head that may be baseball stitches? I dunno...he doesn't look anything like a baseball except for that. OH! I almost forgot to name him. Let's go with Baseboil...that sums him up!

God, this Peter Lorre lookin' dude (Peter Gory!) that's next kinda sucks. He's not really a monster as much as an extremely ugly guy with a pirate patch. I guess he does have that scar above his patched eye and that patch has a pupil?! He's also not really shaped like a ball, but kinda like a nut. Thumbs down!
Our next malformed mutilated monster, is an extreme mess. Don't get me wrong, Two Eyed Willy here is pretty neat (way better than Peter Gory), but he just looks a bit...off? There's a lot of detail but everything seems wonky, like a child drew the original sketch. Again, we have a skull-thing creature, with parts of his skin still on but sloughing off? He also has an eye patch but for some reason it's covering up, what appears to be, a fully functional eye. It does have some pizza sauce beneath it so maybe he's just a messy eater and the patch is like an eye bib? His gnarly fang mouth is cool, as well as his skeletal no-nose, but they're all crooked and skewed. Definitely a weird one.
These next two are really bizarre. Whoever designed them was on mescaline or peyote or whatever monster ball designers use, but maybe they used too much. Obed Marsh here is a crazy fish-human hybrid, with bulgy (look at the detail) eyes, tiny fins and tropical colors. He also has human teeth, nose and tongue and for some reason two sets of lips? I love this dude, but the back has absolutely nothing goin on. Junkless trunk.
His compatriot (Ball Of Confusion) defies all logic. Same over the top color scheme but with a...ummm....I guess I'll start with his mouth? What's going on there?! Did he get punched and it turned green? Is he half dinosaur?! Why only 2 perfect teeth (not fangs even)?! His one small eye seems to be sheathed in some sort of...skin flap...ew, while his other huge eye has growths on it! The rest of his face is covered in orange scars! Don't forget the huge blue eyebrows and reptile nose! WHAT?! So cool.
Next, Fr-acne-stein is like the Monster Ball Frankenstein was sent through a James Groman machine. Much more gruesome and without that 50's retro style, this guy has a horrid orange color, with red patches of zits on his cheeks. The green scar on his head is super pronounced and delicately sculpted as are the bolts on his neck/chin. The half shut eyes add to his overall deathlike appearance and he's got a cool slick backed hair style. I do miss the classic Frankenstein flat top, but all his grossness more than makes up for that!

Last and kinda not least is this goblin inspired sadball I've named Ballgoroth. He's not the most exciting dude in the world but he gets points for an interesting design. His huge floppy nose and tiny peg-teeth are pretty cool. His face is all wrinkly and saggy too! I checked his bottom (photo coming soon) and he's got a familiar Emson Freaky Fred stamp! He's related to these guys! Why his name is exactly the same is beyond me but he now resides very close to his brothers...what the hell is wrong with me?!

In conclusion, these are all (except for one, and he knows who he is) cool and worth grabbing, but good luck finding them. The only one that I've ever seen pop up before is Baseboil. Anyway, I've got something REALLY cool in store for next week. A two year old interview I did with James Groman himself!! See you next week nerds!

A Journey Into the Unknown Part 3: Motley Spew

If you guys have been reading this blog for the past few weeks, you know that I had a very fruitful two month Sadball hunt. For some unknown reason ebay has been a gold mine for the crud. A crud mine. Working in the crud mine. Ummmm....anyway, this week's post is gonna be dedicated to seven (!) inflatable rubber Sadballs I scored in December and January. Most of these dudes I'd never even seen before they were auctioned, but there's a few that I'd been coveting for a lonnnnngggg time. Either way, get ready for some bad made up pun names.
First off is one of the dudes I've been eyeballing since I started collecting Mad/Sadballs. I initially saw him in a pic on the Skullbrain board of a bin of Madballs at the Mishka headquarters. I have absolutely no idea what the hell this guy is or what line he's from but there's been rumors that he's from some sort of Ghostbusters line? Google searches have provided little info and by little I mean none. Despite his elusiveness, he's awesome and I shall name him Face Face! I love the two faces, and not just double faces but faces that share an eye! It's like a Frankenstein but not stitched together. More like he's grown that way as some sort of orange mutant! He does have stitches, but not sewn together ones. He was probably in a bad car accident and got fixed up. I suppose driving with three eyes would give you a better view, but maybe not. I'm glad he's ok. This dude (Pain Toad!) is amazing! I absolutely love him, like I would marry him if I were a Madball. He's well painted, sculpted and has beautiful eyes. Wait, what?! Is that a frog in his freakin' eye!? Yes, yes it is. I mean that frog is genius. Without it he'd be another Argh mimic, but with it, he's got an amazing mysterious back story. Was he on a joy ride in a convertible and a toad slapped him in the peeper? That would explain his grimace and car accident stitches. Why are they all driving? None of them have arms? I should rethink my theories.
Next up, is a toothy Skull Face imitation. I'd seen him only one other time in a huge overpriced ebay lot but admired his exaggerated smile, buck teeth and horrible head gash. Seriously, it looks like someone's making meatballs in a wound. That's nasty. I probably wouldn't have called him out as knock off if it weren't for those eyes. He's got lips and even veins on his head, but the keyhole shape sockets is one of the Skull Face's signature features. I mean, either way its a pretty cool stylization of a skull and very well designed and painted. I'm having trouble namin-wait! Brain Ball Bill! Yes!
Toot-enkamen here is obviously an homage to our dear friend Dust Brain. He doesn't have as much detail but I enjoy the crisp edges of his paintjob and the fact that his one eye is all out of whack. He must've had some serious birth defect, because that thing is way high and poppin' out through the bandage! Not to mention they're both weeping rust colored goo, even the squinty one. The ancient Egyptians may not have had proper eye care but dang did they have good dentists. Look at those pristine chompers! Well, there's some gaps, but they're beautifully white and square.
Our new friend actually isn't that new. We talked about him a few posts ago in a smaller format. I just had no idea they made a full sized version of him. Weird.
I'm naming this sorry nerd Snaggle Fink due to his prodigious incisor and his ho-hum appearance. Not much goin on here. Just a green dude with a chip on his shoulder. I still like him though..
Actually, I felt similarly about Winnie the Puke here. I don't know if they're from the same line but they have a lot in common. Snaggle Fink is completely new to me. I only know he exists because a fellow collector on Little Rubber Guys sent him to me out of the kindness of his heart. Or because he knows I'm an idiot that gets really excited about stupid balls. These last two are two of my favorites out of this recent haul. Full of detail, gross barfy colors, odd accoutrement. You know, when you go out on the town you need your dressy bat hat and centipede veil. This guys is obviously yet another Skull Face rip off but there's so much flare and weirdness. Honestly, the more I look at that hideous color and that deformed ear, the more I wanna barf. Which is the point.
This handsome fellow is a bit familiar though. We looked at his striking younger brother in the same post as Toot-enkamen's sibling. Yup, it's a giant Trog! He stole my heart as a ping pong sized grosso and now he's doing it as a regular ball sized dude. Up close, and with this paint job, he also bears a resemblance to Purple People Eater, to the point that I'm almost positive that they're from the same manufacturer. Last but certainly not least is this bizarre, football shaped moron. I love Gridiron Grin but jeez what a weirdo. He's got those lazy grape shaped eyes, that tiny nose, and those bizarre domino teeth. But seriously, the most disgusting part is the double set of lips. What sick weirdo would think of that and make me look at it? I hate/love it. As with all these acquisitions, Gridiron has no markings. There's no "Made In", no manufacturer stamp, no date, nothin. Mysterious indeed.

In conclusion....don't try to get stuff like this cus you'll probably be bidding against me on ebay and that pisses me off. Seriously though, I think there's another Brain Ball Bill up right now and he's well worth the price. Go for it!