Madballs, Weird Balls, Super Bouncing Weird Balls, Monster Balls, Blurp Balls, Krazy Balls, Freakballs, Squirt Devils and other nameless imitations.

Sunday, February 28, 2010

Euro Mini Madballs!!!

"Gross for one, Gross for all"

So, blogging. I was going to add and intro about what this blog is about and why I'm making it but if you can't figure it out then I guess I've failed at blogging. Here we go.

For my first post, I decided to skip the classic Madballs and go for one of the revival products from the last few years. These are the sweet Euro squirting mini Madballs! I stumbled upon these while searching for plain ol' Madballs and apparently, they're not marketed in the US at all. They come in "blind" cases and are sold at newsstands in at least Italy and England, but I'm sure the French enjoy them if they have them. They're about 1.5" in diameter and are made of the same rubber that the Masters of the Universe figures heads used to be made out of. I used to be fond of chewing on Webstor's head because the inside would stick together and make a satisfying "click" with every bite. I have not tried that with these mini Madballs...yet.
I had no problem getting a full set because they're not really blind. Like you can see that dude's creepy little face peering at you through two layers of plastic. And, I'll admit, even though I had seen pics of these buggers online, I was giddy as hell opening them. I wasn't disappointed either. The details on these mini dudes are amazing, some of them are even more detailed than their full sized cousins. AND they squirt water. AND the rubber they're made out of is more durable than foam. However, they do smell to high heaven. A wretched chemical smell that I've only ever smelt at the factory south of the Shop Rite in South Philly. You know, the one in back of Ikea that is churning out bad smells even on Sundays. And I doubt what they're making is children's toys.
Ok, first up is Brain Rot. He's some sort of rabid mad scientist that you can plug in to...... something. He reminds me of the Mad Scientist toys namesake. But he's full of wires and a lobotomy scar. Spit Bull is a pretty good (but not the best) pun name in this set and deceptively detailed. He's mostly one color so it's easy to miss all the stuff he's got goin on. There's a ton of stitches (like any decent Madball) lots of boogers/puss/drool as well as two flies eating said boogers/pus/drool, a ring through his nose, he's cross eyed and he's got adorable tiny horns. That's right, I just said adorable in reference to a tiny monster shaped ball toy. My favorite, however, is the "MB" brand on his butt(?). Like there's a Madballs ranch somewhere with a bunch of Weird-Ohs looking dudes raisin' the gross monsters for sale on the gross out market.
OHhhhhhhhh this guys cool! not as gross as your usual Madball cool nonetheless. His name is Spews Ooze and he's a bad-ass dragon, complete with some shiny magenta horns. A bunch of knights tried to kill him but it didn't work. There's a spear, a mace and a sword all stuck in his spherical body.
I like creature Madballs the best. Like gnarled-up animals or zombies or medusas etc. So the plain guys getting hurt theme isn't that appealing. Racket Attack is one of these. I like the detail in the racket and the two single boogers coming out of each nostril but....I like monsters better.
Flea Bag here, is my second favorite of this ugly bunch. Get this, he's an angry cat head (with a stinky fish in his mouth a la Heathcliff) sewn to and angry dog head (with the cat's severed tail in his mouth!) with both their brain(s) exposed! It's like a two for one Madball deal.
Meh. I'm not too impressed with this guy. The idea is cool but it's not very well executed. Don't get me wrong I'm all for sabertooth tigers eating cavemen, but this isn't sculpted very well. It took me a while to figure out what in the hell was going on with the caveman's mouth. It almost looks like the caveman was having a seizure and someone put a stick with and apple in the middle of it in his mouth and then a tiger snuck up and swallowed him. Upon closer inspection, it looks like that weird stick is the caveman's lower lip with his actual tongue flopped out on top of it. There's another lip below it with tiger teeth sticking out from it that are mostly covered by slobber. I do like the broken spiked club stuck to the tigers backside and the green blood. As a side note Fang Thang is a dumb name.
This is my absolute favorite. It's so nightmarishly weird! Mouths for eyes and and eye for a mouth. It's covered in warts and the requisite stitches. The backside of it has another bigger mouth and a big unpainted eye underneath that. I hate it and love it at the same time. Now that I'm looking at it some more, I think the purple tongue is really off putting too. It's a little disappointing that this one never got made into a regular sized Madball. He's simple, yet disturbing and gross at the same time.
Along the same lines as Racket Attack, this dude isn't too impressive. He does have the BEST pun name of (possibly) any Madball ever. That's right, ever. Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you.....Deck Head. It still makes me giggle. Ok ok ok. Seriously. I don't think the skateboard looks that good especially in the back. And again, he's just a guy, not too exciting. Deck Head. Ha!
I really like Creep Frog's name. It's simple and to the point. This thing is creepy. He's eating a bunch of pond scum with a nasty purple tongue. The worst part is his blank, disinterested stare. Ew. I LOVE the centipede that's crawling out of the crack in his head on the back. Cus' frogs are brittle and renowned for cracking.

Ok this is the last of these mini monsters. Bottom Feeder is much like Creep Frog. They're both really cool and detailed and creepy BUT they're just animals. I think the detail and the general grossness of angler fish in general wins me over. The starfish stuck to him, the nastly little lure hanging in front of his face, and his folded over tail are all nice touches. I might also add, that he's the stinkiest of the bunch. Maybe its the color paint they used on him but I would not recomend chewing on him or squeezing his air in your face. Not that I tried either of those things.

So first post wrap up. Mini Euro Madballs are amazing! Lots of details, cool designs (with a few not so cool exceptions), and way more durable and functional than regular Madballs. So if you were a kid you could do more than shove these in your sisters face or hand one to your dad when he thinks you're handing him the phone. Check them out here.


I just found an Italian commercial for these buggers!